Not Broken, Just Bent
by Kissylipsandacarrot
Summary: Olivia and Brian Cassidy have the perfect life. A beautiful daughter, successful jobs, a nice house... But can one mistake leave this family in shambles? A/U
1. Chapter 1

**Friday, June 12**

" _Shit_ ," she muttered under her breath.

She was going to be late home. Again.

Quickly typing out a text to send to her husband, she glances at the time. _11:34._ Her phone vibrated almost immediately and she let out a frustrated sigh at his response.

" _You're just now on the way home? This is getting ridiculous Liv."_

Calling for a taxi, she reassured him she would make it up to him and how sorry she was that she couldn't make it. As she got herself situated in the car, giving the driver her address, she felt her phone buzz again.

" _Not me you need to be apologizing to…."_

 _Fuck_. _It was Friday night._

For as long as she could remember, Friday nights were spent at home with her 5 year old daughter. Bubble baths, painting their nails, and watching movies were just a few of the things they would spend their night doing. Cursing herself for completely letting the day slip her mind, her phone buzzed once more.

" _Had a great time with you tonight, Liv. Can't wait to see you again ;)"_

 _Double fuck._

* * *

Olivia walked into the house, putting her coat on the hanger next to the door, and making her way into the living room. She immediately spotted her husband sitting on the couch, his arms folded across his chest, and a near empty beer bottle next to him.

"Hey babe, I'm so sorry I'm late. I just really lost track of time with this pitch I'm working on and before I knew it….." She began, making her way to sit next to him.

"Yeah, Liv, I get it." Brian interrupted, turning his head to look into her eyes. She smiled, glad he understood.

She reached for his hand, but he pulled away, finishing his sentence.

"Your job is more important than spending time with your family. It's fine, no biggie, right?"

 _Well that was not what she expected._

"Bri….", She starts.

"Save it, Liv," He takes the bottle next to him, putting it to his lips and taking a swig, "I'm tired of waiting up for you, I'm tired of you constantly blowing me off, and I'm tired of having these same fights over and over again just for you not to ever **fucking** change."

He gets up from the couch, his blood boiling, anger running through his veins. He loves this woman more than anything on the planet but he'll be damned if she doesn't push every _single_ one of his buttons.

Brian made his way to the kitchen and placed his palms against the countertop, his head hung between his shoulders. It had been a long night, and after about 8 o'clock it was made _pretty clear_ that Olivia wouldn't be making it home for dinner, nonetheless her Friday night ritual with Ellie. Breaking the news to his daughter took the cherry on the cake, and Brian finally had _**enough**_.

His wife's footsteps are what brought him back to the present. She stomped around the living room, the dining room, up until she was standing directly across the counter in their kitchen.

He lifts his head up to look at her. She's right there in front of him, her hands on her hips, brows furrowed together. She's wearing a black tight fitted pencil-skirt, and a light-pink flowy blouse tucked into it. If he weren't so pissed at her right now, he would love nothing more than to push her against the wall and fuck her right there.

"Jesus, Brian, it's not like I haven't been trying!" She tries, not quite ready to back down.

He runs a hand roughly down his face.

"Look, Liv, I don't want to fight anymore alright? It's too late for this shit and I just wanna go to bed." Brian offers.

Olivia looks at him, and she can't help but notice how tired he is. His eyes bloodshot, the scruff on his face growing in lighter, his undereye bags- a dead giveaway that he was exhausted, emotionally drained, and done with arguing.

And she feels bad, she really does. She can't quite shake that pang of guilt she feels in her stomach, but she chooses to ignore it, to let the argument with her husband go, and to start fresh again in the morning.

As she makes her way around the counter, she reaches her arms out, slowly wrapping them around him. She gives a light squeeze before pulling away, lifting her head from his chest to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry babe, I swear I'll make it to dinner tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He nods and gives her a peck on the lips.

Taking his hands into hers, she pulls him towards the bedroom with a smirk.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?"

* * *

"Oh, fuck me, pleaaseee!" She cries out, hands fisting the sheets as he drills into her from behind.

He palms her hips, pulling and pushing her to meet him thrust for thrust. She's tight as fuck, and from this angle he feels like he might explode. Olivia is on her hands and knees begging him, moaning his name, crying out to God knows who.

 _Harder_.

 _Faster_.

 _More_.

Brian's thrusts are relentless, animalistic even. And he doesn't know what overcomes him but before he knows it he is reaching up her body and grabbing a handful of her dark thick curls. He gives a hard tug and her head immediately raises.

"Baby please," She whimpers, completely submissive to him.

"Tell me what you want, 'Livia."

He leans his head down, his mouth making contact with the shell of her ear. His tongue reaches out to touch it, sucking on that spot behind her ear that makes her…..

"Mmmmmm…"

Yep, that's the spot alright.

He pulls her hair again, whispering into her ear.

"Tell me, Olivia."

He's not impressed with her sudden silence, so he stills his hips and pulls back slightly, almost completely out of her. He lets go of her hair, and she whines until she feels his hands starting to palm her breasts. She lets out an involuntary moan. She knows she's driving him crazy, whispering dirty things into his ear, all but asking him to let her cum. But there is nothing she loves more than Brian to fuck her like this and make her his own.

"Bri, baby, please move," she encourages, attempting to thrust her hips backwards.

"Tell me what you want, _Olivia_ , and I'll give it to you."

"You know _exactly_ what I want," She lets out breathily, stifling a moan as he bites down on her neck.

That was all it took for Brian to to begin pummeling into her depths. His hands groping her body, tugging at her nipples, rubbing, reaching, touching. Olivia tipped her hips up and let out a loud groan when he began hitting into her deeper than before. She began to feel the burn in her stomach as he makes slow circles around her clit with his thumb.

"I'm...oh fuck Bri… I'm gonna cum!" She moans, hands now clawing at his neck, his back, anything she can get a hold on.

"That's it baby," he encourages, "Cum for me 'Livia, fucking cum for me." He flicks her clit even faster now, feeling her body begin to tighten around him. He's sucking on her neck, pulling himself out of her and slamming his hips back in.

He swipes her bundle of nerves one...two...three more times and she comes undone beneath him. Her knees give out and she lies flat on the bed, convulsing around him, screaming his name and begging him never to stop. That's all it takes to push him over the edge, and he moans her name into the crux of her neck.

"Wow… that was amazing." He presses a kiss to the side of her head.

"Hmmm, yeah it was pretty amazing." She smiles lazily.

He rolls off of her, wrapping himself in the sheet. She rises from the bed, collecting her panties and t-shirt, and unplugging her phone before making her way into the bathroom. She closes the door behind her, setting her phone on the counter as she manages to get dressed. She goes to turn the sink on when her phone lights up.

" _I can't stop thinking about you baby and your lips around my big hard….See More"_

She slides the unlock button on her phone, jokingly rolling her eyes as she types out a reply. She washes her face, dries her hands with a towel, and makes her way back into the bedroom. As she crawls into bed she feels Brian's hand wrap around her middle.

"I love you, Liv." He whispers to her.

"I love you too, Bri… so much."

She lays awake all night.

 _What the fuck did she get herself into?_


	2. Chapter 2

_**3 MONTHS LATER**_

 _ **Monday, September 24**_

Several months had passed since Olivia and Brian's argument, and Olivia had made a solid vow to try to work less hours and spend more quality time with her daughter before she started Kindergarten. As the day days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, Olivia established a set schedule at the office where she was able to make it home for dinner and story time every night. Not to mention her and Brian's relationship was going surprisingly….well?

The couple had always had a great sex life, it was nearly impossible for them to go more than a few days without intimacy. But something changed that night, something that Olivia couldn't put her finger on. It was almost as if something had snapped in Brian that made him so possessive and jealous. And she was not going to complain about it, the sex was just WAY too good!

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Mmm, turn that fucking thing off." Brian grumbles, nuzzling his head further into his pillow. Olivia reached to silence the alarm and turned to face her husband. She cupped his face in her hands and traced his lips with her thumb.

"Good morning, Mr. Grumpy Pants." She whispered, leaning in and meeting his lips with hers. She gave him a few quick pecks before making her way down his neck. She started lightly sucking as he moaned and cupped her ass. She let this carry on a few more moments, groaning as she felt Brian's hands massaging and kneading her bottom.

As she pulled away, Brian reached for her again, "Hey, hey, hey! Don't start something you can't finish, babe…" he drifted off, now making his way down her neck with sloppy kiss. She let out a giggle and pressed her hands against his chest.

"We can't Bri, I have to get El up for school and _you_ have to make breakfast." She gets up, pulling on her robe, swaying her hips all the way to the bathroom.

"How come I always have to make breakfast?" He whines.

"Oh honey, you are MORE than welcome to go wake up that sweet little angel we call a daughter. I'm sure I could manage breakfast this one time!" Olivia jokes. I

f there was one thing their daughter loved, it was sleeping in. Brian could remember the times he would sit in Elliot's room, just watching her, listening to her snore. He and Olivia had always joked that she could sleep through anything, which wasn't all that funny when she fell asleep during her first birthday party…. and her second. But, as happy and loving as his sweet baby was, Brian knew the horrors of waking her up. He recalled just last week as he watched his daughter uncontrollably sobbing while her mother brushed her hair into a ponytail. After it was fixed, Elliot threw a fit, took it down, and Olivia chased her through the house trying to put it back up.

Brian smiled at the memory, but seeing as it was already 7:30 and his daughter had to be ready to go in less than an hour, he wasn't taking chances. Besides, Olivia was a pro at this by now.

"How do pancakes sound?"

* * *

"Bye Daddy, I love you!" Brian reaches down to pick up his daughter, kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you too El, you be a good girl for Mommy, okay? Have a great day kiddo," He sets her back down and watches her run to take Olivia's hand. With a wave 'goodbye' they are gone and out the door.

Taking a look around, he gathers the dishes and begins to load them into the wash. As he hits the "Start" button, he hears something.

Bzzz Bzzz

He looks around, not yet able to find where the noise is coming from. As he walks closer to the sound, he arrives at the coffee table. A phone. _Olivia's_ phone. Someone from work must be calling her. As he goes to pick it up, the call ends and a message appears on the screen.

" _You better hurry your little ass up, boss is waiting for you ! ;)"_

Brian lets out a chuckle as he reads the message. The message was from Emily, one of Olivia's coworkers. For as long as he could remember, Emily had always worked closely with his wife at the office. They organized meetings together, threw pitches as a team, and were willing to work all hours of the night to get the job done. Olivia and Emily had always joked to him that their boss was an ass, so the text came as no surprise. He set Olivia's phone back down, got dressed, and was off to work.

* * *

"I cannot believe you left your phone at home!" He starts while unbuttoning his pants.

"I know, it was just so hectic this morning and El was almost late to school and…." He interrupts her by kissing her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Her hands come up to cup the back of his head, while his slide down to grab her ass. He gives it a light smack and she moans into his awaiting mouth.

"I offered to give you a towncar, Olivia, you know I don't like you two walking the streets of Brooklyn everyday." He tells her, barely above whisper. She sighs, putting their foreheads together.

"Cole, I appreciate it, it's just, don't you think it would look a little sketchy? You lending me a car and all?"

"What, a boss can't look out for the well being of his employee and her kid? You're taking the car, no point in arguing now." She smiles then. Cole _was_ only looking out for her.

"Thank you." Olivia says before leaning in for a kiss.

"You don't ever have to thank me, I just want what's best for you, you know? Now, how about you go lock the door and we can reconcile on our agreement, huh?" He raises an eyebrow and chuckles as she makes her way to the door. She turns the lock and he is on her in seconds.

Olivia Benson, now straddling her boss in his office chair, her skirt bunched around her hips, head thrown back as she rides him to oblivion. He leaves a bite mark on her left breast and he finishes inside of her. As she pulls her skirt down and buttons her blouse, she catches a glimpse of herself in the office mirror. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she promises this is the last time she will do this to her family. She is out the door before he can even get dressed.

When she makes it to the bathroom she sits down on the toilet and cries.

She cries for herself, for the terrible mother she is, for the fucked up wife she is, for the disappointment of a woman she has become.

She wipes the tears from her face, combs her fingers through her hair, and re-applies her lipstick. She leaves the bathroom, grabbing her purse and coat out of her cubicle, and makes her way for the elevator.

* * *

"Alright now you gotta fuck one, marry one, and kill one." Brian and the rest of the squad let out a laugh as his partner, Detective Jason C. Graham, explains the rules of the game they're playing.

"Come on JC, everyone knows how to play the fucking game, alright!" He tells him.

"Sounds like Cassidy wants to go first!" One of the other officers says, striking a triumphant 'yeah' from the rest of the table.

Brian holds up his middle finger and the rest of the men laugh.

"Alright, alright! Ya got 'The Jessica's' so Alba, Biel, and Chastain?"

"Uhh you better be fucking Jessica Alba and that's all I'm sayin," Brian's friend, Charlie Hager says and the group lets out another roar of laughter.

"Nah he's into brunettes, ain't ya 'Bri-baby'" One of the detectives jokes, mimicking the nickname Olivia had given him years ago.

"Yeah, fuck off!" He grins and shakes his head.

"Uh oh, speaking of the devil!"

"Hot mama alert!"

The huddle of men let out a few whistles and chuckles before separating from the table.

"Hey boys, I can only assume your doing some real hard police business, right?" Olivia kids as she makes her way next to Brian.

"Hey babe, what're you doing here?" he asks her, standing to meet her.

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought maybe you and me could go grab a bite to eat…"

"You were in the neighborhood, huh?" He teases.

"Okay, so I really just wanted to have lunch with you. Is _that_ so hard to believe?"

"You paying?" Brian asks as Olivia lets out a chuckle.

"Yeah, right." Brian grabs his keys and takes Olivia's hand, walking out of the precinct.

* * *

"You left your phone this morning." Brian mentions in between bites.

Olivia nods, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, I realized when I got to work but by then I was already late and it was just a shit show to say the least."

He lets out a laugh and mumbles an "I bet".

It starts to rain, so the couple eats quickly. They talk about the weather, about their upcoming dinner with Brian's mom this weekend, about their daughter's field trip tomorrow. This didn't usually bother Olivia, she knows she lives a busy life that is revolved solely around work, her husband, and her daughter. But lately she feels like she isn't _her_. She feels like she is _just_ a mom, _just_ a wife, _just_ a worker. Her and Brian have been through it all, but it seemed now that they didn't even know each other, that they only had a relationship because they shared a child.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow? Just you and me?" She blurts out. Brian looks up from his plate giving her a questioning look.

"Uhhhh, what do you mean?"

"Just you and me, Bri. We can do whatever you want, we'll call into work and we can spend the whole day in bed if you wanted to, or we could go to a museum, or we could go to the park, or we could…." She rambles on.

"Woah woah slow down Liv, I would love to, you know that. But I really don't think I can do it tomorrow. We're tight schedule as is, and if we don't catch this guy then I'm gonna be pulling overtime for a week." He gives her a sad smile.

 _Leave it to Brian to be practical_

"Yeah, you're right, it was just a dumb idea." She pushes her food back and forth on her plate. She hears Brian call for the check, and soon he is paying the bill and they are parting their ways. They mutter their "I love you's" and "See you later's".

As they walk off in seperate directions, she can't help but think there must be some kind of God who _really_ hates her.

* * *

 _ **Friday September 28th**_

"Hi baby, how was school?" Olivia waves her daughter to her and they begin to walk down the sidewalk.

"It was fun, we learned the letter 'L' today!" Elliot squeezed her mother's hand as they hurried across the busy street, talking about her day of school all the way home.

Finally arriving home, El insisted on helping make dinner. Grabbing ingredients from the refrigerator and pantry, Olivia realized she didn't have enough milk or eggs. Shooting a quick text to Brian for him to stop by the store on his way home, the mother daughter duo began setting the table.

Brian walked into the Kwik Stop strolling the aisles until he found the milk and eggs. Opening the carton and making sure there were no cracks, Brian put the items in his cart. As he went to turn the cart towards the checkout line, he accidentally bumped into someone else.

"Oh shit, my bad, I wasn't paying attention." He grumbled as he picked up some of the bags he had knocked down.

"Brian?" A familiar voice asked.

Looking up, he let out a laugh, and smiled. "Hey, Emily!" The pair gave a quick hug and said their apologies.

"It's been so long since I've seen you! You look great! How is everything?" Emily asked.

"I can't complain! How are you? You and Olivia stay so busy it's like I never even see either of you anymore." Brian chuckles. He notices Emily doesn't. Maybe she thought he was being an ass. As he went to apologize, Emily spoke again.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean?"

"Look Em, I didn't mean to sound like a dick. I know you and Liv are hard workers, I was just messing with ya." Brian laughs again.

"Listen Brian, I appreciate that, but I don't work at ReMarc anymore…." Emily gives him a confused look. "I quit about 6 months ago, I have a job in Manhattan now working in a marketing department. I'm sure Olivia must have told you I left."

 _What the fuck?_

"Alright Em, it was great seeing you. Have a good one!" Brian cuts her off and hurries out. This had to be a joke right? Why would his wife not tell him that her best friend and partner had left the firm? And why would they still be texting about their boss 6 months later?

At that exact moment, Brian was downright fucking _mind blown_.

When Brian arrived home, he was greeted at the door by his mother.

"Oh, it's so nice to see you Brian, you look great! Tell me, how have you been?" Joannie asked, giving her youngest son a kiss on the cheek.

"I've been good, Ma. Tell ya what? I'm gonna go give this stuff to 'Livia and then I'm gonna go change and I'll be back down to chat, alright?" Brian said motioning to the grocery bags he was carrying. As he made his way into the kitchen, he set the groceries on the counter and ruffled his daughters hair.

"Daddy!" She cheered and he kissed the top of her head.

"Hey honey, how was work?" Olivia asked, cracking open an egg.

"It was, uhhh, it was fine. Busy day."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just fine." He reassured her, kissing her lightly.

Brian then made his way up the stairs into the bedroom. Stripping his clothes, he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes.

 _Olivia's phone._

He looked around the room, peeking his head outside the door to see if anyone was coming. When he was met with silence, he walked over to the nightstand. Tapping the home button the phone lit up. No messages. Nothing. He tapped the button again and a new screen appeared.

 _Fuck._

 _A password._

Racking his brain of everything he could think of he typed 0518, their wedding date.

 _Incorrect._

He typed 0316, Ellie's birthday.

 _It unlocked._

There he sat, alone in his bedroom that he shared with his wife of 10 years, snooping through her phone. Should he do this? Maybe he was being unreasonable. Maybe his wife had mentioned that Emily had left. Maybe there was a _new_ Emily? He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. The screen lighting went down, meaning the phone was about to lock again. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and set the phone back down. Quickly changing into jeans and a t-shirt, he threw the dirty clothes in the hamper and made his way back downstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Hope you all are enjoying the story! This is my first ever fanfic so please forgive me as I work out the kinks and what nots to this website. Just a little background info (i shoul'dve posted this at the beginning of the first chapter but oh well) this is an AU story, so Olivia does not work at SVU. She is actually a publisher (i've been watching a shit ton of younger so creds to the writers bc they rock) and Brian is just a detective. They are married, and their daughter Elliot is 5. Leave me some reviews because honestly i love hearing feedback from everyone :) thanks**

* * *

 **Friday, September 28**

As they all gather around the table, Ellie telling Joannie about her latest field trip to the science museum, the family jokes and converses.

"So, Olivia, Brian tells me your company will be publishing the new Ellen Degeneres book? That must be exciting!" Joannie asks.

"Yes, I am thrilled. And as long as all the contracts go through okay, I might be looking at a trip to the west coast for the book signing next month!"

"How neat, I am sure you will have a great time. It's so beautiful out there this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold…." She rambles.

Brian's mind soon drifts off as he begins thinking about his previous encounter with Olivia's "partner". He had ran out of the store like a bat out of hell. But, if there was one thing Brian knew for sure, it was that he was _fucking_ confused. Cursing himself for not going through her phone, he feels a nudge.

"Huh?" He manages, eyes shifting back to the table where his family sat.

"Daddy!" Elliot giggled. She and Brian shared a smile.

"That's alright El, your daddy never liked to pay much attention to 'grown up talk'. I was just asking if work was going well? I'm sure they're keeping you busy." His mother asks, taking a bite.

"Uhh, yeah, it's alright. Get one bad guy and there's another one out there. Can't catch much of a break." Brian moved his food back and forth on his plate.

"Not very hungry?" Olivia asks. He shrugs his shoulders.

They continue to eat and soon after, Elliot is insisting on showing her stuffed animal collection to her Nana. Joannie excuses herself, and is escorted by her granddaughter to her bedroom, leaving Brian and Olivia alone.

Olivia is the first to stand, and begins collecting the plates and silverware from the table. Carrying them into the kitchen, Brian trails in behind her. Putting the dishes into the sink, she notices Brian's quietness.

"Everything okay?" She tries.

"Yep."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

 _Well alright then._

Going back to rinsing the dishes, she watched out of the corner of her eye as Brian walked out of the kitchen. Listening to his footsteps travel up the stairs, she let out a sigh and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

* * *

After demanding that his mother stay the night, Olivia now had Brian gathering clean linens out of the closet. Making the bed, something he hadn't done since before he met Olivia, he let his mind wander some more. He and Olivia had been married for _10 years_ , and in those years he thought of himself to know her more than anyone else. He knew Olivia was not one to be deceiving. She loved her family and would do nothing to hurt them. She was loving, caring, but most importantly- honest. He had to trust her, as she trusted him throughout all of his undercover operations. Not once had she ever questioned his actions, so he decided to do the same with her.

He hears a belch of laughter come from down the hall. Stepping back to admire his work, he smiles to himself.

"Still got it."

Making his way to the living room, Brian takes a seat next to his daughter.

"Look, Daddy! I'm beating Mommy and Nana." She smiles proudly, showing him her hand of cards.

"Good job, El! What're you guys playing?"

"I can't say, it's not a nice word." She insists.

"Bullshit, Brian. We're playing Bullshit." His mother informs him. They all share a laugh as Olivia shuffles through her cards.

"To be fair, sweetheart, your Momma and Nana are both very bad liars. You can see right through their poker face." Brian teases, gaining a glare from both his mother and wife.

"Two three's." Olivia says confidently, placing her cards in the center of the coffee table. Elliot looks up at her father, quirking an eyebrow at him. Brian just shrugs his shoulders.

"Bullshit!" His five year old yells out.

"Elliot Gray!" Olivia scolds, taking the pile of cards into her hand. Brian laughs and pats her on the back.

"That's my girl."

"Ya got everything you need? Blankets, extra pillows, a fan…" Brian continues on.

"Yes, son, I think I'm okay. Listen, I really appreciate you all letting me stay here tonight. Trying to get a cab all the way out here is a real bitch." Joannie tells him, pulling the comforter out and climbing in.

"Of course, Ma. You know you're welcome anytime. Besides, maybe I won't have to be on breakfast duty tomorrow." He jokes, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She gives him a playful smack.

"How do waffles sound?"

* * *

After tucking both his mother and daughter in, Brian makes sure to lock all the doors and begins walking up the stairs to the bedroom. He is met with Olivia, clad in only her underwear and one of his NYPD tee shirts, brushing her teeth and typing on her phone.

He undresses down to his boxers and strides into the bathroom. Wrapping his arms around Olivia's waist, he sets his chin on her shoulder.

"Whatcha doin'?" He asks as she turns off her phone.

"Just texting Emily to remind her of our big meeting on Monday. I don't want her to be late or forget anything. I mean...it's fucking Ellen!" She tells him, both of them laughing at her choice of words.

"Hey, how come Emily doesn't come around anymore? I hope I didn't scare her off or anything."

"Oh, Bri, that's exactly what you did." She jokes as she spits out a mouth full of toothpaste. She rinses and wipes her face off with a wash rag, then turns around to face her husband and wrap her arms around his neck.

"I'm kidding. Emily is just really busy. She's got kids, work pulls her chain a lot, so I guess she doesn't have a lot of time for a life." Brian only nods. "Plus her and Trevor are always fighting. There for a while I thought they were looking at divorce, it was not good at all." Olivia confides in him.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm so glad that's not us, Bri. I know I don't always tell you, but I appreciate how supportive you are with everything. I'm sure I don't make it easy for you." She meets his eyes.

"Well, it's no day in the park…" He jokes as she pushes him away.

"I'm serious," She smiles, "You're an amazing husband, thank you for being so understanding _and all._ "

"It's no problem, Liv. It helps when you're so cute _and all._ " He teases. She reaches up to kiss him on the lips, moaning as it lasts longer than anticipated. Brian's hands begin to wander to her thighs, and before she knows it, he is hoisting her up on the bathroom counter. She lets out a giggle and sinks her head into his shoulder, kissing his neck. When he feels her start to nip at him, he reaches for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up slowly.

"Bri! Your mom is right downstairs." She warns him while smacking his hands away.

"Come on, Liv. It's not the first time I've had sex with my mom in the house." He gets a look from Olivia before finishing, "With you of course."

There are no further arguments as Brian carries Olivia into the bedroom, closing and locking the door.

After many rounds of passionate lovemaking, Olivia now lay snuggled into Brian's side while he draws lazy patterns on her back. The sound of her snoring causes him to chuckle. _She really is too damn cute._ As he lay staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep, he notices a light come from the other side of the room. He raises up. _Olivia's phone._ Sitting there, he feels his heart start to pound. Confused as to why he was getting so nervous, he remembers their last conversation.

" _I know I don't always tell you, but I appreciate how supportive you are with everything."_

Fuck. He can't, he trusts Olivia. Deciding against going through her phone, he lays back down. _Another light._ Now he was getting suspicious. Who the hell would be trying to talk to her at 1AM? Sitting up for the second time, he kicks the covers off of himself, and makes his way across the bed. Clicking the home button, the messages appear.

" _Photo Attachment."_

" _This reminds me of you and Brian LOL!"_

Letting out a sigh of relief, he lets out another chuckle. The messages were from his mom, who he was no longer surprised was up at such a late hour. She was a night owl.

"Bri?" Olivia moans, sleep evident in her voice.

"Nothing, baby, just thought I heard something. Go back to sleep." He tells her as he rounds the bed.

"Come to bed." She whispers, holding the comforter open to him. He crawls in and soon falls asleep with his arms around his wife.

 **Saturday, September 29**

"Mmm, I smell something delicious!" Brian announces, letting out a stretch and yawn.

"Well it's about time! I thought I was gonna have to come up there and wake your ass up." His mom smiles, turning around to help Elliot pour the batter into the waffle maker.

"Yeah, well someone kept me up _all_ night." He whispers into Olivia's ear.

"I didn't hear you complaining any last night." She whispers back as she takes a sip of coffee.

She couldn't complain either. Brian had made love to her so many times last night- with his mouth, with his fingers, with his body. He had driven her to ecstasy over and over again, she wasn't quite sure she'd be able to walk in the morning.

"Alright, lovebirds. Breakfast is ready." Joannie interrupts.

While the family eats together, Elliot insists on going to spend the day at the park. Not being able to tell her no, Brian and his mother agree to take her while Olivia stay behind to get caught up on some household chores. When the trio leaves, Olivia begins tidying up, collecting discarded clothes throughout the house. Making her way into the bathroom, she gets a box out of the cabinet and begins to open it. Tying the remains into a bag and throwing it into the trash can, she stares at the pregnancy test she is holding in her hands. She lets out a sigh, pulls down her pants, and pees on the stick.

"8-10 minutes." She reads out loud to herself, setting the test on the counter. She tries to busy herself, she really does. Finally sitting on the bed, she watches the clock as it slowly ticks away. The walk to the bathroom is the longest thing she has ever done, she thinks. And when she looks down at the test there is without a doubt two pink lines.

 _Pregnant._


	4. Chapter 4

**Wednesday, October 10**

"You sure you got everything?" Brian asks, putting Olivia's luggage in the car.

"Yes, trust me. I checked, double-checked, and then triple-checked just to make sure." Olivia passes him another suitcase.

"You're only going to be gone a few days, why in the hell do you need all these bags?" He grunts, shoving another one into the trunk.

She laughs, "I had to bring a couple different outfits to pick from, I wasn't kidding when I told you I'm getting a picture with Ellen to frame in our room."

"You're ridiculous." He chuckles. "Anything else?"

"Nope, that's all."

"That's _all?"_

"Shut up." She bumps his shoulder and then takes his hand as they walk back into the house together.

"Whad'ya have to do to get that?" He asks her, referring to the brand new SUV her boss had lent her. "Nevermind that, what would ya have to do to get me one?" Olivia gives him a smile and rolls her eyes, trying not to show her uncomfortableness.

"Alright, El. Looks like it's just gonna be me and you for a couple of days, it's time for Mommy to go catch her plane." Brian tells her as she sits at the table doing her homework.

"Mommy, can I please go with you? I'll be good." Her daughter offers, putting on her best 'puppy dog' face.

Olivia kneels down and covers Elliot's knees with her hands, "Oh I wish baby, but this is a business trip and I have a lot of work to do. Maybe we can go somewhere when I get back, okay?"

"That's not fair, I want to go now!"

Olivia looks up at Brian, shooting him a look to help her.

"Come on El, we'll have fun here." He reassures her. All they are met with is a frown.

"You be good for Daddy, okay? I'll facetime you guys tonight, and maybe if you're good, I'll bring you back a prize." Before the words are out of her mouth, Elliot's eyes light up.

"What kind of prize?"

"Maybe a stuffed animal?"

"Yes, Momma! I'll be very good."

Olivia and Brian both laugh and Olivia kisses Elliot on the forehead.

"I love you so much." She tells her, then standing to hug Brian. "And I love you too."

He wraps his arms around her giving her a squeeze. "You gonna bring me back a prize too?"

"I'm sure I could find a stuffed animal for you somewhere."

"Or you could buy some of those furry handcuffs, I would _really_ like that" He whispers in her hair, gaining a chuckle from her.

 _Typical Brian._

When the time comes, they all walk outside, sending Olivia off.

"You sure you're gonna be okay with Emily not being there?" He asks, closing the driver's side door and leaning in through the window. She had told him Emily wouldn't be able to make the trip because she was busy with stuff at home, whatever that meant. She had also told him that Emily was offered another job, and that she was going to take it. _Maybe Olivia had just forgotten to mention Emily's departure. 6 months later._

" _Yes,_ Brian. I will be _fine."_

"Alright, alright. Drive safe and text me when you make it to the airport."

"I will. Love you." She gives him a peck on the lips.

With that being said, Brian and Elliot watch as the Tahoe backs out of the driveway. They wave until they can no longer make out the car.

"I wish I could meet Ellen." Elliot crosses her arms.

"Me too kid, me too."

* * *

 **Thursday, October 11**

California was absolutely beautiful. Being born and raised in the city, Olivia had experienced it all- the busyness, the taxis, the lights, the loudness. But everyone and everything here was so….relaxed. After getting off the plane, Cole had the bags sent to their hotel, and Olivia and her colleagues went out for drinks. Kate was a sweet girl, but Olivia soon found out she talked WAY too much. The whole ride to the bar she talked nonstop about her latest backpacking trip through Europe. Then there was Alexis, a shy young intern that nearly hyperventilated when the plane took off. Olivia had decided to make the best of the trip, it was a chance to clear her mind and think.

She still had not told Brian about the pregnancy. She was scared and the last thing they needed was another child. She feared that Brian would be upset, but more importantly she feared what Cole would think. Olivia and her boss' affair had not been planned, and in the last few months they hadn't been particularly 'careful'. That was what scared her the most, the thought of carrying and raising a child that wasn't Brian's.

She had been sicker than her first pregnancy. Carrying Elliot, Olivia did nothing but thrive. She had been warned of the morning sickness, but it never came.

She had been lucky. _Very_ lucky.

After a night of downing nothing but club soda, Olivia now lay in her hotel bathroom, head in the toilet. She had to be ready to go in less than an hour, and at the pace she was going, she was definitely going to be late.

There was a knock on the door before she heard, "Olivia? You in here?"

 _Fuck. It was Cole._

Raising up from the bathroom floor, she emerged.

"In here."

"Well hello there gorgeous. You're looking rather dashing today." He said, holding his arms out to her.

"Yeah right, I feel and look like shit." She told him, side-stepping his embrace. She began whisking through her suitcase, pulling out articles of clothing.

"You do know we're leaving in like 30 minutes right?" He asks, taking a seat on her bed.

"About that. I'm going to be a little bit late."

"A little late? To meet Ellen? I don't know if you believe in first impressions or not, Olivia, but…."

She interrupts him, "Yeah Cole, I know and I'm truly sorry. I've just had a rough morning, call it jet lag if you will."

"Okay, I'll send another car for you." He tells her, rising up and going to the door.

"Oh, and Olivia?"

She looks up from her suitcase.

"For your own sake, don't go out drinking tonight. We have a busy day tomorrow." And with that he is out the door.

* * *

She prides herself for being only twenty minutes late, but when she arrives Cole is pissed.

"Nice of you to join us, _Olivia._ " He says through his teeth, smiling at the media and hundreds of fans that pass by.

"Cole, I'm so sorry."

"Save it, Olivia. There is someone I would like you to meet"

And just like that, all is forgiven. Cole guides her through the massive crowd until… _Ellen._ She is sitting at a table, taking pictures with fans, signing copies of her newly published book. The book that Olivia published. The pair make their way up to the table to show their badges to the security guard. Noticing she left hers at the hotel, she begins to panic.

"Badge?" The security guard asks.

"This is going to sound crazy, but I actually left mine at my hotel. I'm Olivia Cassidy, I published Miss Degeneres' book." She tries.

"No badge, no getting through, Sorry ma'am."

"But I'm with him." She points at Cole and he nods.

"Look, I'm sorry ma'am. But I can't let you back here without a badge."

"Olivia?" She hears. "It's alright, John, she's a friend, and one hell of a publisher." Ellen reassures the guard. He moves out of the way, allowing Olivia to pass.

"Thank you so much!" Olivia says, shaking Ellen's hand.

"Well thank _you_. This is such an amazing outcome, and I couldn't have done it without you."

"It was my pleasure, believe me."

"Hey Cole, do you care to take a picture of me and Olivia for my Twitter?" Ellen asks. Olivia is pretty sure she shit her pants.

"Of course!" He takes the phone and gets the camera ready. "Say cheese!"

* * *

"I can't believe it! I'm famous!" Olivia exclaims, collapsing onto her bed.

Cole chuckles and shrugs off his coat. "DId you have fun?"

"Fuck yes."

"Good, I'm glad you came, Olivia. Now, how about we celebrate?" Cole reaches for the bottle of champagne, a gift from the hotel. Olivia sits up on the bed, as she watches Cole pour two glasses. When he hands the glass to her, she declines.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Wasn't it you who told me not to drink tonight because we have a busy day tomorrow?" She quotes.

"Yes, but we're celebrating now. This one's allowed."

"I really can't. Maybe some other time."

"Suit yourself." He says as he takes a swig and sits beside her. They sit in silence for a few moments before Cole sets his glass on the bedside table.

"You are by far the most gorgeous woman on this planet." He tells her, sweeping her hair to the side of her neck before placing small kiss across her nape. His hand comes up to cup her jaw while she lets out a silent moan.

"Mmm, Cole. I really should get ready for bed…"

"I like the way you think." He stands up and begins unbuckling his belt, giving Olivia a light push back onto the bed. She laughs before raising up on her elbows. She is lost in the moment, watching as her boss undresses before her eyes. He crawls over top of her and begins planting kisses on chest, unbuttoning her blouse between each peck.

"You. Are. So. Fucking. Perfect." Cole whispers in her ear as he licks the outer shell of it. She lets out a throaty moan and throws her head back, giving him more access.

 _It's the pregnancy hormones._ She tells herself.

He continues to manipulate her body, and before she knows it, her legs are thrown around his shoulders and he is lapping at her core.

"Ohhhhh fuck! Don't stop." Olivia cries out, tugging at his ears, trying to get him as close to her as she possibly can. His fingers find their way inside of her, and he begins curling them upwards, gaining another whimper from her. She is so close that she can feel it in her toes. But when they both begin to feel a vibration, their heads snap up and over to the noise on the bed.

"Do not answer that." Cole demands before thrusting his tongue into her opening.

"Uhhhh, Cole, I have to. It's Brian." She pushes him away from her and slides the button over to answer it.

" _Hey baby," Brian says, "Sorry I missed your call earlier, me and El were at the park."_

"That's okay, I uh, was just calling to tell you I met Ellen today." She replies, but as soon as the words are out of her mouth, Cole begins peppering kisses on her inner thighs. She nudges him with her foot and mouths 'NO' but he is relentless. And she can't help that this is really turning her on.

 _Brian chuckles, "That's great, was it everything you hoped it would be?"_

"Mm, and more." Olivia swallows the moan that comes up. She looks down at her boss, now busy rubbing her with his thumb. He takes her bud and pinches it between his fingers, and Olivia lets out a gasp.

" _Everything okay?"_

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just watching this show, turns out the wife was the killer all along." Cole now has two fingers inside of her and she can feel her legs twitching. He is going to make her cum with her husband on the phone.

" _Wow, sounds like you're having a lot of fun. El really misses you, she just knocked out or I would let her talk to ya."_

Olivia furrows her eyebrows and tries her hardest to ignore Cole's manipulations to her body. When that fails, she reaches for his hand, an attempt to get him to stop. He grabs her hand and holds it against the bed.

"Cum for me 'Livia, let me taste you."

She opens her mouth, and right as she is about to scream out, his hand covers her. She lets out a grunt and her body begins to convulse. She lays there for a few seconds, her body quivering, legs shaking, and Cole just smiles.

" _Liv, you still there?" Brian's voice brings her back to the present._

"Yeah, sorry babe. I miss her too, has school been okay?"

" _Everything's been pretty good here. Except the math they are teaching now a days is ridiculous. Who needs to know this stuff? She's in kindergarten for Christ's sake. Ya know what I mean?"_

She laughs softly, watching while Cole wipes his mouth with the back of his hands and begins dressing again.

"Yeah well, math was never one of your specialities, now was it?" Olivia jokes.

" _You don't need math to be a cop. Just gotta be really strong, and good looking."_

"You've got that down pat, don't you, Officer?" She opens her eyes that she didn't remember closing, and is met with Cole pretending to stick a finger down his throat. She flicks him off and he laughs.

" _When are you coming home? I reallllly miss you." He sounds like a child, but it can't help but melt her heart._

"I miss you too, Bri. Tomorrow is my last day and then I will be on a flight back home, ready for a foot massage from my _strong, good looking_ husband."

" _Don't forget sexy, sensual, good in bed…" He rambles on before she interrupts him._

"You are so cocky!"

" _I'll show you cocky."_

"Oh I'm sure you will. I better get ready for bed, big day tomorrow." Olivia yawns.

" _Goodnight baby, I love you."_

"I love you too. Tell El I said I love her and that I got her a surprise."

" _Alrighty."_

 _ **Click.**_

"When are you going to tell him I've been fucking you for the past six months?" Cole's words take her by surprise. She's not sure how to even respond.

"That's not funny, Cole." Olivia says as she rises up from the bed, buttoning her blouse and fixing her skirt.

"I'm not trying to be funny, Olivia." Cole gets up and follows her to the other side of the room. His hands wrap around her waist and she turns to face him.

"Look, I'm tired, you're tired. So maybe it would be best if you just left." She wrenches out of his embrace, grabs her night clothes, and heads for the bathroom.

"I don't want to keep this a secret anymore, Olivia."

She stops in her tracks. This could _not_ be happening right now. Olivia turns around.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I love you! Okay? I've had these feelings towards you for awhile now, and I can't keep ignoring them forever."

 _He loves her. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

"You are out of your mind, Cole!" She yells at him, bile beginning to come up in her throat.

"Leave him, be with me." He walks over to her, reaching for her hands. "I want to be a family. You deserve someone who loves and cares for you, Liv!"

"Don't call me that!" She yanks her hands away, "Brian loves me, he is an amazing husband and an exceptional father. He's just busy with work right now, he is providing for our family!" She tries, but he does not budge.

"Do you even hear yourself right now? All you ever told me is how he was never there for you and Elliot, he hardly ever saw her for the first two years of her life. Now you want to tell me he gets the 'father of the year' award?" Cole continues to grow even more pissed. Why was she acting this way?

"Cole, I am sorry for leading you on, but this was just a mistake. You are my boss, and Brian is my husband. I love him and I love my daughter, nothing will ever change that."

"So it's gonna be like that now?"

"I'm sorry." She grasps the doorknob, done with the conversation. When she begins to enter the bathroom and close the door behind her, his hand slams against it.

"You waltz into my office, demanding you be on deck for the Ellen book, and then after the book is done with, you what? Don't want to be with me anymore?" He gets in her face, trapping her in.

"We were never together, Cole!" She pushes against his chest, an attempt to get him away from her.

"Right, of course." He laughs, shaking his head. "So tell me, Olivia, do you always fuck your way to the top? Or was it just with me?" He doesn't even feel the slap when she strikes him across the face.

"Fuck you. Get out of my room." She demands, tears streaming down her face.

"This," she points between them, "will never happen again."

Olivia is surprised when she sees him walk to the door. He opens it, and right when she thinks he is about to leave and let this go, he speaks again.

"You tell him, Olivia, or I will."

And with that, he is gone.

 _What the fuck was she going to do?_

* * *

So sorry for the delay guys! Been super busy getting ready for college, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know what you think and be sure to leave a review :)


	5. Chapter 5

**you ask and you shall receive...been brewing up a new story so let me know what y'all think about that**

* * *

 **Friday, October 12**

Olivia hadn't gotten any sleep last night. She wondered if Cole was just bluffing, or if he would really tell Brian about their affair. If she were to tell Brian, he would be heartbroken. Commitment was very important to him, something he had always mentioned when they first met and even after they had gotten married. But she knew if he were to hear from someone else it would be even worse.

She played scenarios in her head of how he would react, and she tried _really_ hard to think of one where Brian forgave her. She came up blank. What the fuck had she been thinking? She had ruined her marriage and her family for some office romance with her boss. What would she do about work? She hadn't even thought about how the affair would affect her career. Would she have to quit? Would Cole fire her?

Instead of drowning her thoughts into a bottle of wine, like she usually did, she just cried. Olivia cried so hard she was sure the whole floor could hear her. She _fucking_ hated herself.

She was so glad when the sun began to peak through her room, no longer leaving her alone with her thoughts. A wave of nausea hit her, and after she had thrown up all the contents in her stomach, she showered and tried to cover up the bags from crying. She took a step back and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy, her nose swollen, and when she looked closely she could see a small bump appearing through her skirt.

"Hi baby, I'm your momma." She smiled, rubbing her belly.

* * *

It was a rainy day in the city. After dropping Elliot off at school, Brian made his way into work. He was hoping for a slow day, but the second he stepped foot into the precinct, he was sent out to patrol for a "White/Caucasian male in their late 20's early 30's wearing a red beanie and work boots".

"That's half of fucking New York, ya don't got nothing else for me?" He had sighed.

"Sorry, Cassidy. You and Graham take 94th street, report back here in an hour." His captain ordered.

"Man, fuck this!" Brian slammed his locker shut as him and his partner got ready to head out.

"What's your problem? Gettin' tired of being on 'mom duty' already?" Jason joked.

"Screw you, man. She's actually coming home tonight, I was hoping we'd get out of here early so I could make dinner." Brian told him as he buckled his vest and packed his gun.

"Aww, look at you. You're trying so hard to get laid, it's cute actually." Graham pointed his finger in his face.

Brian smacked it away, "Trust me, I don't have to try to get laid."

"Yeah, I'm sure. C'mon, maybe if we catch this guy you'll have time to get some of those rose petal things to put in the bathtub." Graham closed the door to his locker and grabbed the keys.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate your annoying ass?" He told him as they walked out of the precinct.

"Yes, all the time, everyday."

* * *

"I'm real sorry Liv, they've got me all tied up here. Ya know I wanted to make it home to you tonight." Brian offered. He heard her let out a sigh before replying.

"I know, I get it. I was just really hoping we could all have dinner together as a family. I've missed you guys so much."

And he had missed her too. The past few days with just his daughter were great, they were able to bond and stay up past their bedtimes, a secret they had promised not to tell Olivia. But he had never realized how difficult Olivia had it. She was able to take care of her work, their home-life, and their daughter with no complaints. Olivia deserved all the credit she could get. He knew she was tired and had talked about going away for some time, so he took a shot.

"Tell ya what, I'll take off a couple days next week and we can go somewhere. El's off for fall break and we can take a little trip up to Long Island, Sara and Dustin will be there. It'll be a break from the city and work and we can spend some family time together. How about that?"

Olivia perked up at the announcement that Sara, Brian's sister, would be there. When Brian and Olivia first started dating, Sara instantly fell in love with Olivia. They spent summers together at their families' beach house, and before they knew it, they were inseparable. When Olivia was pregnant, Sara would come over night or day just to spend time with her. She was Olivia's maid of honor in the wedding and truly one of Olivia's best friends.

"A week away from work? Count me in." Brian could hear the excitement in her voice and he laughed at her comment.

"Sound like a plan?"

"Yes, Bri." She reassured him.

"Perfect. Well, I better get off here and catch some bad guys."

"Alright, be careful. I love you, I can't wait to see you. Oh, and I have a surprise for you."

"If it's not furry handcuffs, I'm gonna be pissed." She giggled at his comment.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see."

"God, Liv, you're killing me here."

"Bye baby." She cooed.

After she hung up, he sat on the bench in the cribs smiling at his phone.

* * *

The plane ride seemed like ages, but the second they landed, Olivia couldn't make it soon enough to pick up her daughter. While she had been gone on her trip, Joannie had worked around her schedule to pick Elliot up from school and watch her until Brian could make it home. Something Olivia was and had always been grateful for; Brian's mother. Her own mother had passed away when Elliot was only nine months old, but ever since then Joannie had stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park being a full time Nana and Mom.

Olivia's parents had divorced while she was in school, and she had always resented her father for leaving and starting a new family halfway across the country. But upon her mother's passing, she had rekindled her relationship with him, something she thought she could never bring herself to do.

" _Why don't we let bygones be bygones, Olive? It's what your mother would have wanted."_

Her father's words repeated in her ear. After the funeral, Olivia's father had managed to stay a few months in the city. Seeing him with Elliot gave her a whole new perspective on life- he was patient, kind, loving, and forgiving. A man Olivia wasn't even sure existed in him. She was grateful for the time they spent together, but when it had came time for him to leave, Olivia wasn't sure she was ready to let go. Brian had taken a new job and he was rarely home, she was alone with their child, and it seemed like things were taking a turn for the worst. Her dad had promised to come visit more, a promise he so humbly kept, and told her to call anytime she needed someone to talk to. She looked forward to his staycations every summer, and the vivid memory reminded her to call him when she got home.

As she pulled into the driveway, she spotted a head full of curls bouncing around in the backyard. Getting out of the car and rounding the corner of the house, she threw out her arms.

"Hi baby girl!"

"Momma, momma, you're home!" Elliot screeched, dropping a handheld shovel and running into her mother's arms.

"I missed you so much, sweet girl. Have you had fun with Daddy and Nana?" Olivia peppered her daughter with kisses and gave her a light squeeze.

"She's been helping me plant my Pansies and Siberian Squills, haven't ya El?" Joannie said, wiping the dirt off her hands, raising up from her spot on the grass.

"Yeah, momma! Nana letted me dig the hole and she put the seed in it, but you have'ta put it bottom side up or they won't grow right."

"Oh yeah? Look at you, you're a little gardener aren't you?" Olivia gave her another squeeze before picking her up, kissing her on the cheek.

"She really likes it, Brian might have to build a flower-bed at the house." Joannie smiled, tapping her granddaughter on the nose.

"Speaking of my son, what time is he getting off tonight? He told me he'd be here at 5 to pick El up, but seeing as though it's 6:30 and he hasn't returned any of my calls or texts, I'm assuming he's working late again." She continued.

"Yeah, I talked to him right before I got on the plane and he told me they caught a case so he would be a little late home tonight." Olivia smiled sadly.

"Not this shit again! Don't they know he has a family?" Joannie had always hated Brian's work schedule. He was a good man and a hell of a cop, but as strong willed as he was, he always had a problem with saying 'No'. She assumed his boss knew that and took advantage of his work ethics.

"You know Bri, he wouldn't feel right leaving a man like that on the streets." Olivia reassured her.

"Yeah, you're right. Whaddya say we go grab some dinner? There's a new fusion pace down the street, one of my patients said it was to die for." She asked, Elliot's eyes lit up at the sound of food.

"I hope figuratively, of course." Olivia chuckled.

"That's a little hospital humor for ya!"

* * *

"I'm home! Anybody here?" Brian called out into the dark room. He stumbled through the house, tripping over shoes, knocking his shin into the coffee table.

"Fuck." He growled, finally reaching the light switch. He opened the refrigerator door and began picking through it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Olivia whispered, scaring the living shit out of her husband.

"Jesus Christ, Liv! You scared the fuck out of me." He howled, dropping the box of take out back in the fridge,

"Just now getting home?" She yawned. He closed the door and reached his arms out to her, holding her tight in his embrace.

"M'yeah, let's not talk about work tonight. I missed you too damn much." Brian kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and deepened their kiss.

"God, I fucking love you." He said, barely above a whisper. Brian's hand made it's way down her back until he was gripping her ass. They made out for a few minutes before they broke apart. She looked up into his eyes, placing her hand on his cheek, running her thumb across the thin line of his lips.

"I love you more." Olivia told him

"Let's go to bed."

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It was basically just a filler bc I have been so busy the past few weeks and haven't had much time to sit down and really write, and I am having a terrible case of writer's block so if you know how to get me out of this funk then let a girl know plz :) don't forget to leave a review and let me know what's going through those pretty little heads of yours


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N sorry for the delay but i hope this chapter makes up for it :)**

* * *

 **PRESENT DAY**

There was so much blood.

 _Blood_.

Where was it coming from?

She ripped the sheets and comforters off of her body, exposing the crimson puddle that lay in between her legs. She gasped, feeling the blood continue to pour out of her and onto the bed.

"Oh no no no no." She whispered to the quiet room.

She was alone. She was scared. What was she supposed to do?

Olivia turned the bedside lamp on, looking for her phone.

Who was she supposed to call?

 _Brian?_

 _911?_

She shook her head, wiping a stray tear off her cheek. She could hear her heart beating in her ears as she stared down at her body.

 _So much blood._

Her palms were sweating, and as she dialed the familiar number she prayed they would answer the phone.

"Come on come on, _please_ pick up the phone."

"Olivia?"

"I'm sorry to be calling so late, but I, uh, I need your help please."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"I've been doing great! How are you, the kids keeping you busy?" Olivia paced back and forth in the kitchen.

"Listen, Olivia, you better thank your lucky stars everyday that you have a daughter. Living in a house with four boys, it's hard. The twins are at each other's throat day and night, Trevor has been taking extra shifts to try and pay for Kip's all-star travel team, and Kip, well…. He's just _Kip_."

"It sounds like you have your hands full." Olivia chuckled into the phone as she heard faint yelling coming from the other line.

"Everything alright with you and Brian?" Emily's voice comes back over the line, this time with a whole different tone.

"Of course, why do you ask?" Olivia questioned.

"Oh, um, no reason. Hey, look. I gotta get off of here but can we get lunch tomorrow? We need to talk."

They needed to talk? Olivia was very confused. For as long as she could remember, her relationship with Emily was never complicated. Olivia very rarely got along with other women, they were _too this_ or _too that_ , but with Emily it was so much different. Emily didn't gossip, she never lied, and she always had Olivia's back.

"Sure, is everything okay?" She finally asked.

"Tomorrow at Gerard's?" Emily said quickly.

"Sure bu-"

"Bye Liv!" Emily interrupted.

Click.

Olivia dropped the phone from her ear, brows furrowing.

 _Well that was really weird._

* * *

 **PRESENT DAY**

"You are experiencing an incomplete miscarriage, Mrs. Cassidy." Doctor O'Connor informed her.

"An incomplete miscarriage?" Olivia could barely recognize her own voice.

There was that word again. Miscarriage. The needles they were sticking in her hurt, but that damn word hurt much much worse. The thought of her child's first word, first steps, first day of school- all crumbling down around her, vanishing into thin air. She was ashamed and hurt, the inability to carry her own baby leaving scars that would never heal. Olivia had lost her mother, her grandparents, even a friend from college. But _this_? _This_ was different. _This was worse._

"Unfortunately, these are very common in women of your age. In your case, bleeding has begun and your cervix is dilated, but tissue from the pregnancy still remains in the uterus."

"So what does that mean?" She head Joannie ask.

"Your body is unable to pass by itself, in order to decrease the chances of you hemorrhaging, I recommend we do a dilation and curettage. What that means is-" The doctor continued before Olivia held up her hand.

"I know what that means." Olivia interrupted.

"Okay then. I understand this must be very hard for you, but the sooner we do the procedure, the more likely you will be able to fully recover."

"The most important thing is to know that this is not your fault. There was nothing you could have done differently, it just happens." Joannie rubbed her arm, trying her best to comfort her.

The doctor left and a nurse came in. She checked Olivia's vital signs and gave her a pill to help with the pain. Olivia gave no fight, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. When the nurse left, Joannie cleared her throat.

"Is Brian on his way?"

"I haven't told him yet. I figured, ya know…." Olivia smiled sadly.

The thought of calling her husband had long crossed her mind. Their falling out hadn't ended on good terms, and with everything that was going on in their hectic lives, Olivia assumed it would be best not to call.

"Regardless of what the situation is, Olivia, he still loves you and I know he would want to be here with you." Her mother-in-law insisted, giving her hand a light squeeze.

"I'm not so sure of that."

"Just try and get some rest, sweetheart." Joannie spoke kindly.

She watched as Olivia laid her head back against the bed, her eyes drifting closed. The bruise on her face was now turning a pale greenish color and her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

Joannie closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath she had been holding in. She knew what she had to do. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she dialed the number.

"Brian? Listen, yes I know you're busy but I need you to make your way back down here. No, I'm fine, it's not me. Olivia, she… she's in the hospital."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

Making her way around the bar, Olivia quickly locked eyes with Emily. The restaurant was unusually quiet, something she was very grateful for. Olivia would be lying if she said she wasn't ecstatic about lunch with Emily. It had been a long, rough few months. Olivia was grateful and thankful for her supportive friend.

"Olivia!" Emily waved her over.

"Oh, Em. It is so good to see you!" The pair shared a quick hug and sat back down at the booth.

"How is work going?" Olivia asked, eager to catch up.

"It's different. Manhattan is like a whole different world, everyone is so…. Nice. I hate every second of it." Emily told her, casually sipping.

"Come on, it can't be that bad." Olivia gave her a toothy grin.

Emily raised her brows as she downed her second mimosa.

"Want one?" She offered.

"No thanks. I'm good." Olivia insisted. Emily shrugged her shoulders as to say 'suit yourself'.

"So tell me about the Ellen book! I am so proud of you, Liv, I knew you would do just fine without me." Emily reached her hand across the table to grab Olivia's.

"It was such an amazing experience, but I have to give Brian a lot of credit. I'm pretty sure he got tired of me talking about it all of the time." She said honestly.

Olivia watched as Emily's facial expression quickly changed.

"Em, what is it?" Olivia questioned worrily.

"Nothing, it's just- nothing. Forget it." Emily tried to dismiss.

"Don't do that, now you have to tell me."

The pair was quiet for a while. For some reason, Olivia's heart began to race. Had something happened to Emily? To her husband? Was she sick? Was she getting a divorce? Was she pregnant?

"Tell me!"

"I ran into Brian a couple weeks ago." Her friend blurted out.

Olivia's eyes widened. He had never told her he saw Emily out.

 _Fuck._

 _Oh god._

Brian knew.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Olivia? Maybe why Brian had no fucking clue that I had switched jobs months ago? Why he thought we still worked together?"

" _Hey, how come Emily doesn't come around anymore? I hope I didn't scare her off or anything."_

Brian's words repeated in her head.

How could she have been so fucking stupid? Cole didn't even need to tell him, he already knew. That was why he had been acting so… different. Olivia wondered how long Brian had been connecting the dots. But more importantly, why had he never said a fucking word?

"Liv?"

"I fucked up, Em." Olivia whispered, her mouth running dry.

"What did you do?" She whispered back.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She could do this. This was Emily. Her best friend.

"I- I slept with Cole." Her secret was out.

"You're having an _affair?_ What the actual _fuck?"_ Emily seathed.

"I know, I know. It's bad."

"Are you still sleeping with him?"

"No, I broke it off at the book signing. But he threatened to tell Brian." Olivia assured her.

"Oh for fucks sake Olivia! I'm gone for a couple of months and you ruin your whole life? Are you insane? Really?"

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat, lowering her eyes to the table. Emily stared at her friend. There was something she wasn't telling her.

"There's something else, isn't there?"

Damn her for being so good at this.

"What is it?"

She raised her eyes, tears threatening to fall. Emily searched her face for a few moments before it finally clicked. She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a gasp.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Olivia's silence was all the confirmation she needed.

"Is it…"

"I don't know."

"Oh dear Lord. I'm gonna need another drink." Emily called the waiter over.

"What do I do?"

"Start from the beginning."

* * *

 **PRESENT DAY**

"Where is she?" He yelled out shakily, still trying to catch his breath.

The drive from Long Island had been nerve wracking.

"Brian!" His mother beckoned him over.

"Is she okay? What happened? Did something happen to her?" He rambled on.

"Calm down, son. She is doing okay, considering…"

"Considering _what?_ "

"She lost the baby."

His heart sank. The past few days had been hectic to say the least. He fucked up, she fucked up, and now here they were in a hospital mourning the death of their innocent unborn child. Brian regretted his actions and the hateful words he had lashed out to at Olivia. There was no way he could ever begin to apologize to her or make things right, but he was going to try.

"What's her room number?"

"She doesn't know you're here, she asked me not to call you." Joannie told him reluctantly.

"I need to see her, Ma, please."

"Down the hall, first door on your right."

The walk to his wife's room seemed like an eternity, but when he came back to the present he found himself standing outside her door. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

"Knock knock."

"Can I come in?" She closed her eyes and laid her head back down.

"I told your mom I was fine. You didn't need to come."

"Of course I needed to come."

Her eyes shifted to her hands, the ability to look at him growing harder and harder. The cramping in her lower abdomen had been excruciating before the charge nurse had given her some pain medicine, but that was a few hours ago. For now, the pain was back and worse than ever. A wave passed over her and she let out a low moan, squeezing her eyes shut.

"You okay?" Suddenly Brian was beside her bed, reaching a hand out to her.

"Yeah, just peachy." Olivia retorted, her fingers clenching the sheets.

"Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the nurse?"

"I'm fine." She said through gritted teeth.

She couldn't do this. She was not strong enough for it. The positive feeling of bringing a child into the world, that everything would be okay, now snatched away from her soul.

"Doctor said it was normal to experience cramping when…. When you're…." She choked on a sob, finally looking at her husband.

 _Having a miscarriage._

There was that fucking word again.

She lost it then. Every emotion she had bottled up over the past few months pouring out of her. She felt the tears streaming down her face, the sobs wrenching her body, then Brians arms wrapping around her. They cried together- they cried for the hurt, for the confusion, for the wrongdoing, for the lies, for their baby.

"Why didn't you call me?" He finally spoke, his voice hoarse and shaky.

"I figured you would be relieved, ya know? Considering..."

 _I was carrying another man's child._

"Hey, don't do that." Brian cuts her off before she can finish. Wrapping his hands around her head, caressing her cheek with his thumb, he reaches for her eyes- begging her to look at him, to understand. "Look at me, look at me, Olivia. No matter _what_ happened, this was _our_ baby. I would've raised and loved this kid no differently, do you understand me? No matter what, Olivia. It's me and you, baby, me and you."

"I'm so sorry, Bri." She cries as he holds her. Finally letting go and no longer holding back, she lets it all out.

"Shh baby, it's okay. I got you, it's okay."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

He waits in the bar, checking his phone.

1:43.

He shakes his head, throwing a bill down on the table and gathering his things to leave.

"Brian!" He hears.

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic." Cole explains.

Cole holds his hand out to shake Brian's, but when Brian makes no effort to shake it, he withdraws.

"Want something to drink?" The man offers.

"I'm fine."

"Alright." Cole accepts and calls the bartender over.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"It's about my wife." Brian watches as Cole shifts in his chair.

"Olivia? Is everything alright?"

"She's fine, she's just been acting strange."

Brian watches as the man swallows, a clear indication he was uncomfortable.

"Well she has been very busy. I was ecstatic when she called and told me she was taking the week off, you know how she is. All work and no play." Cole chuckled, taking another sip.

"How long has Emily Sanders been gone from the company?"

"Emily?" Cole asked, taken aback. "Gee, I don't know. A couple months, maybe?"

Brian only nods his head.

"Why do you ask?"

"Do you have any idea of why my wife might have forgot to mention her departure?" He scratches his chin.

"No, her and Emily were two of my best workers, very close. Are you sure she didn't tell you?"

"I would have remembered if she told me." Brian demanded.

"Right, I didn't mean it like that." Cole swallowed. "Have you talked to Olivia about this?"

"She's either been working or out of town, I haven't had much time to talk to her about anything."

"I see."

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

Brian sat quietly, kicking himself for being such an idiot. Interrogating her boss? What was he thinking? As he got up to leave, he saw Cole's phone laying on the bar, lit up with a message.

" _Cole, we need to talk. ASAP. Call me? Please?"_

It was from his wife.

"Sorry about that, man. You sure you don't want a drink?" Cole called over, making his way back to his seat.

He watched intently as Cole picked up his phone and read the message.

"I actually have to get back to the station. Thanks again." Brian threw back, grabbing his coat and walking out of the restaurant. When he was sure Brian had left, he dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Olivia asked him in a hushed tone.

"Just leaving O'Malleys, your husband called and asked if I would meet him for lunch." He hears her mumble a curse word under her breath.

"He called you? Why?

"He asked me why you never mentioned your partner getting a new job. I didn't tell him I've been fucking his wife though, he seemed too angry."

"Did you say anything?" Olivia questioned angrily.

"I didn't need to, he's a detective, Olivia. He'll put the pieces together."

"Cole, I am begging you. Please do not tell him."

"Then don't make me, Olivia. It would be better coming from you anyways."

"Cole.." She pleaded.

"Gotta go, Livia. Always a pleasure hearing your sweet voice."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

She heard the front door unlock and then slam behind him. She got up from the couch, meeting him in the dining room.

"Hey, are you just now getting off?" Olivia asked him.

"Why do you care?" He slurred, passing her to get a beer from the fridge. He reeked of beer and cigarettes, an obvious indicator that he had been at the bar.

"Elliot wanted you to tuck her in, I was just worried about you, that's all."

She watched as he cracked open a beer, drinking almost half of it before he set it on the counter.

"You ever get ahold of Cole?"

"I did." She swallows.

"So then you know we had lunch together?" Brian pushes.

"He mentioned it."

"He tell you what we talked about?"

"He did."

"So?"

"Brian-" She starts.

"How long have you been sleeping with your boss, Olivia?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did I stutter?"

Her heart is beating fast. She can't breathe. Her world is crashing down around her. Her marriage- ruined. Their family? In shambles.

She stares at the tile on the floor, her eyes glassy.

"How. Long." He grits through his teeth. He is close to her now, she can feel his hot breath on her neck.

He is drunk and angry and she's not sure she can blame him.

"Bri…" She tries again but he is not having it.

She feels the tug before she can process what is going on. He grabs a fistful of her hair and yanks her head up and around to face him. She whimpers and reaches up to grab his hands, an attempt to wrench him off of her.

"You look me in the fucking eye and you answer me." He yells in her face now.

"I'm sorry, Brian, please."

He lets her go and runs a hand down his face. He begins pacing the floor.

"For years I gave you everything, Olivia. I gave you my heart and fucking soul. I gave you a child, I gave you a home, I provided for our family and this is how you repay me? Was it not enough?"

"FUCKING TELL ME OLIVIA!"

"Brian, please calm down." She cries.

"Did you not think I was gonna find out? Do you honestly think I'm _that_ fucking gullible, Olivia."

"I was going to tell you."

"When? You're gonna honestly stand there and tell me you were planning to come clean?" He throws back.

"I swear to God I was going…."

"Just don't Olivia. Fucking save it."

"I never meant to hurt you, I swear, Brian."

"Do you even hear yourself right now? You never meant to hurt me? What the hell did you think was going to happen when you started fucking your boss?"

She doesn't reply. Because, truthfully, she has nothing to say. She had no idea what she was thinking, she fucked up epically. The tears continue to stream down her face, she chokes back a sob as she reaches for his hands.

"Will you please just calm down and we can talk about this, Brian?"

SMACK.

She stumbles backwards, the impact of his hand sending her to the ground.

 _He hit her._

She is in shock as she begins sobbing uncontrollably, holding her hand over the swelling mark on her face. She looks up at him, expecting him to apologize, to beg her for forgiveness. But all she is met with is his piercing eyes, now jet black and bloodshot from the alcohol. She doesn't even recognize him.

"Get up." He demands.

When she makes no efforts to move, he bends over to grab her and pull her up by her arms. Olivia is now shaking and she lets out a whimper.

"I told you to get the fuck up." He slams her against the wall, millimeters away from her face. She can smell the faintness of cigarette and tequila on his breath. She attempts to turn her face away, but he grabs hold of her and forces her to make eye contact with him.

He can see the fear in her eyes. He would never think to ever lay a hand on his wife, the mother of his child. But this is not his wife. He swears to God and whoever the fuck else that he would never lay a hand on a woman, but right now he could kill her.

"Was it worth it?"

Silence.

He shakes her head until she opens her eyes.

"Huh? Was it?" He screams in her face.

She shakes her head 'no'.

She feels his grip tighten as he speaks.

"I trusted you, Olivia. I had my suspicions for awhile, but I _always_ gave you the benefit of the doubt. With Emily, with the late night work calls, with the never coming home. You missed our daughter's ballet recital for fucks sake. For what? Some quick screw on the desk?" His words are laced with anger and hate.

"I'm-"

"Don't you fucking tell me you're sorry. You don't get to be sorry anymore." Brian pushes himself off of her.

He grabs her phone from the counter, taunting it at her for a few seconds before unlocking it.

"They on here? Huh? All the messages?"

She doesn't reply.

"They under 'Emily'? Yeah, here they are. 'I miss your mouth, your lips, your tongue….'"

"Brian ple-"

"Get out."

"I said get out." He screams, chucking her phone at the wall causing the glass picture frame to shatter and fall onto the floor.

"Mommy?" Her daughters words fill her ears.

They both turn to face her. She is rubbing the sleep from her eyes, a stuffed rabbit hanging limply at her side.

"Hey baby girl. What're you doing up?" Olivia whispers, crouching down to pick her up.

"You guys were yelling. What happened, Mommy." Her daughter touches the bruise on her cheek.

"Elliot, go back to bed." Brian demands.

"But I'm scared." Elliot curls into her mother's shoulder,

"Elliot. Go to bed. Now."

"Brian." Olivia wide eyes him, a silent plea to stop yelling.

"I am going to count to five and if your ass isn't up those stairs by then…." Brian ignores his wife, and reaches to grab Elliot.

"Mommy!" Elliot clutches onto her, turning from her father's grasp.

"Brian, stop!" Olivia steps back, holding the back of her daughters head to her.

"So now you wanna act like you care about her?" Brian slurs, continuing on with his drunken rage.

"Shh, baby. It's okay, let's get you tucked in, alright?" Olivia ignores him and makes her way up the stairs.

Olivia lays her daughter down, pulling the blankets over her and tucking her in tightly. She hands her a stuffed animal that Elliot gladly accepts. Olivia strokes her cheek with her finger.

"Why was Daddy so upset?" The little girl questions. She was always so aware.

"He's just tired, baby. I promise he didn't mean to yell at you." Olivia reassures her, smiling sadly.

Elliot nods her head.

"Get some rest, honey. I love you." She kisses her forehead, hearing the front door slam again.

"I love you so much."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"Brian? What're you doing here? What time is it?" Joannie answered the door, clutching her robe tightly.

"It's late Ma, you care if I sleep here tonight?" Brian bowed his head.

"Of course not, come in." She opened the door and let him in.

"Are you okay?" She came up behind him.

"I'm fucking fantastic."

He plopped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes.

"You gonna tell me what happened or do I have to pry it out of you?" Joannie asked, sitting on the coffee table in front of him.

"I could use a drink right now." He told her honestly.

"Smells like you've had enough for the night."

"I don't need this, Ma. I gotta work early in the morning and I could use some sleep." Brian shrugged off his coat and patted one of the pillows. He watches his mother roll her eyes before going into the kitchen.

"Are you and Olivia fighting?" She asked returning and handing him a glass of water and two tylenol.

"She's been having an affair with her boss for three months. So yeah, we're fighting." Brian took the glass.

Joannie noticed the swelling of his knuckles and took a ragged breath. This was not good at all.

"What did you do?" She swallowed.

"What did I do?" He snorted.

"I've done nothing but love her. I've done nothing but sacrifice my fucking happiness to make sure our daughter can get a good education, so that she can have a roof over her head, shoes on her fucking feet."

"So what? You knocked some sense into her? Think beating your wife is the right answer, Brian?" Joannie threw back.

"I didn't beat her."

"I know damn well I did not raise you to ever lay on a hand on a woman. Out of all the people in the world, I would think you would know what that was like."

"Don't start with that shit, Ma. Dad was a self righteous drunken asshole, he never gave a damn about us!" Brian hollered back at her, rising to his feet and pacing the carpet.

"But he made sure you were fed. That you had a place to sleep. That you had clothes on your back. Do you know what I see when I look at you, Brian? I see an angry man, I see a hurt human being, but that does not give you any kind of justice to hitting the mother of your child." She shoved a finger in his chest.

"You want your daughter growing up thinking it's okay for a man to push her around? Do you?" She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You can be angry all you want to, you have the right to be. But the next time you ever think about laying a hand on her, don't you dare show up at my doorstep."

"What did I do wrong? Why doesn't she love me, Ma?" Brian broke down, crying into his mother's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N** hey guys, long time no see! i am so so so sorry for my absence- my original plan was to update around Halloween as i had a chapter in this fic already typed up but things came up and honestly i just got out of the groove. then i decided i would update on Christmas, but long story short seeing as tho i am just now uploading this chapter... i have a couple ideas in store so just let me know what you guys think! love ya don't forget to leave a review please and thank u

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"Can I come in?"

She moved out of the way to let him pass her, closing the door silently behind him.

"Where's El?" He questioned, scanning the room to find their daughter nowhere to be found.

"Upstairs, playing in her room." Olivia spoke softly, not making eye contact with him.

Her face was red and puffy from crying, and her eyes showed him that she hadn't gotten any sleep last night. And that _damn_ _black_ _eye_. It screamed at him, haunting him of the reality of his actions. He could sense the uncomfortableness. He could cut the tension with a _fucking_ knife. Brian always considered himself to be a leader, to take action in any situation. But standing with Olivia in the home they shared, he had never been so unsure of himself. What was he to say? How was he to fix this?

"We need to talk, Liv." Is all he was able to come up with.

She only nodded her head, her attention returning to the laundry room. She walked through the hall, Brian following closely behind her. He watched her as she began folding the pile of clothes, tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry." He tried.

She halted, one of his work shirts still in hand, raising her head to look at him.

"That man, the one I saw last night? I never want to see him again, Bri…"

He understood exactly where she was coming from.

"I know, I should've never acted like that. I didn't mean to scare you, Livia. I was just- _so_ angry, I just couldn't understand how the one person I trusted could betray me like that." He paused, trying to find the right words to say.

She drops the shirt and braces herself against the washer, head sinking between her shoulders. His words cut her deep. They both fucked up. There was nothing else to say. She knows deep down in her heart she had no intentions of causing harm to her husband, and she swears to God and whoever else is listening that she would go back and change it if she could. But she can't, she decides. She can only fix it from here. The silence between them speaks louder than any words right now.

"What did I do wrong?" Brian's voice breaks, and she thinks she can feel her heart breaking.

"Don't do that, Brian. This is not your fault."

"There had to be something I did for you to feel that way."

"Feel what way?"

"Neglected."

"I did not feel neglected, Brian."

"Then tell me! Tell me what I did so I can fucking fix this, Olivia!"

"I don't know what to say, okay? I don't know why I did it! I know it makes no sense but I did not... _sleep_ with Cole because I wasn't getting enough attention from you."

"Did you think I didn't love you? Did you think that I didn't appreciate you? Tell me what to do, Olivia. Tell me how to fix this!" His voice raises.

"You are the most caring and loving man I have ever met in my entire life, Bri." She turns and places her hand on his chest. "You are an amazing father and not _a day_ goes by that I regret ever marrying you."

She cups his face, "I fucked up, okay? And I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to fix this, I will do whatever it takes because I love you so fucking much."

The next thing that registers is Brian's lips crashing down onto hers. She is taken aback at first, his hands coming up to tangle in her hair. He is demanding, forcing her mouth open, forcing her to take him. Their kiss is passionate and full of need. Before she knows it, she is wrapping her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. His hands are everywhere- her breasts, her torso, her ass. Brian reaches down to grab her thighs, hoisting her onto the dryer. She lets out a moan, the vibrations of the machine driving straight to her core. He pulls back finally, trailing his tongue down to the column of her throat, nipping at the sensitive skin there.

"I love you." He groans into her shoulder, reaching between their bodies to slip his hand into the material of her leggings.

She lolls her head back, hanging limply from his body. Her heart is racing, and she can't help but feel that this is wrong. She is guilty.

"I love you so fucking much it _kills_ me." He grunts, and suddenly he is forcing two fingers inside of her. She cries out at the rough intrusion, but he swallows her moans. Setting a firm pace, his palm rocks into her clit with each thrust of his fingers. Her nails are digging into his shoulder blades, surely leaving marks. The room is filled with Olivia's muffled cries and the sound of his hand clapping against her opening.

"Tell me you love me." He whispers in her ear before biting down on it.

She knows what he's doing. He is stretching her, he is marking her, he is fucking her, he is making her _his_. She can feel the familiar burn in her stomach, the fire begging to be put out.

"Pleassee." She whines, faltering his movements.

"Tell me." Brian demands, pulling his fingers out slowly before shoving them back inside of her.

"Uhhh." Olivia whimpers into his shirt, gripping him for dear life.

"I want to hear you say it."

She shakes her head, reaching for his hand to get him to stop. She can't do this. She has to tell him. But Brian is relentless, taking both of her wrists in one of his hands and pinning them against her chest. The action forcing her further onto the dryer, her clit coming into contact with it's vibrations again. Her back arches and she twists in his hold, her last attempt to free herself from his grasp, from her conscious.

"Briiii, please. I c-can't." Olivia endeavors before he releases her wrists, clamping his hand over her mouth.

"Say. It.." He nips at her earlobe and her eyes roll back into her head. She is shaking, trembling, the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She whimpers when she feels him add a third finger, stretching her further.

Her eyes widen and it's a good thing his hand is covering her mouth. His hand stifles the scream that wrenches from the back of her throat. With a few more thrusts and twists of his fingers, her walls begin clamping down around him. He holds her tightly against his chest as she cums, never letting up.

"I- I love, oh fuck Bri!" She tries to make out before her second orgasm takes over her body. Then suddenly, his hand covers her mouth again and he stops.

They both still, hearing the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs. She hears Brian curse under his breath, withdrawing his fingers from inside of her. He helps her down from the dryer before emerging to the kitchen, leaving her alone.

What the fuck had she done? Brian had surprised her, being so easy to forgive her for her mistakes. It was just her luck that he hadn't found out, that she hadn't told him about her pregnancy. Smoothing her hair and clothes, she steps out of the laundry room.

"How was school?" Olivia heard her husband's voice coming from the kitchen. She rounded the corner of the hall, not being able to hold back a smile at the sight before her.

Brian sat at the bar, Elliot in his lap informing him of her hard day of kindergarten. Brian looked up and smiled at her, placing a kiss on the side of his daughters head.

"When are we goin' to the beach, Daddy?"

"I almost forgot about that." He looked up at Olivia, sending her a questioning look.

With what they had going on the past few days, their idea of a perfect getaway somehow slipped both of their minds. DId he expect them to still go? They hadn't even talked things through without him shoving his hand down her pants. But they had promised their daughter a week away from the city, and it would break her heart if she had to break that promise.

"Hey El, what do you think about you and Daddy going away for the week, huh? Just the two of you?" Olivia proposed, gaining a look from Brian.

"Really?" Elliot's ears perked up and a grin crossed her face. "Daddy, can we?!"

"Of course we can, sweet girl." Brian ruffled her hair.

"I'm so excitement!" Their daughter screamed.

"Excited, El. You are so _excited._ " Olivia chuckled, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I have'ta go get ready!"

They watched as their daughter skipped to the staircase, smiling softly as she proceeded up the stairs and into her room.

"You sure you don't want to come?" He breaks the ice.

She shifts then, her confession right on the tip of her tongue. It would be so easy. Just to blurt it out. To get everything out in the open. No more secrets, no more lies. They could finally start over. And just when she thinks she can do it, she panics.

"I think it would be good for the two of you to spend some time together, don't ya think?" Olivia offers, now busying herself with the dishes.

"Right."

"Are we- um, are we good?" Brian questions as he rounds the bar, stepping closer to her.

She turns and smiles at him then. She really did love him with her whole being. He notices the glassiness of her eyes and pulls her in for a hug. She stills at the embrace, feeling him kiss her forehead, careful of the shadowing bruise on her face.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers, clenching her eyes shut, her grip on his shoulders now tightening.

He pulls back, holding her head in his hands.

"We're gonna be okay, we're gonna get through this." He tells her.

She shakes her head. _But they weren't._

"What's goin' on, Liv?" Brian searches her eyes, pleading with her to let him help. "Talk to me baby, why're you crying?"

"I don't want you to hate me." She whispers. She wasn't lying, the thought of Brian never wanting to see her again made her physically ill.

"Hey, come on. I could never hate you, you know that." He smiles but falters when he notices she is being serious. They stare at each other for a few moments before she speaks.

"I never meant for this to happen, Brian. You gotta believe me."

"Liv, you're scaring me."

"I'm pregnant."

She would never be able to explain the look on his face. She watched as his blank expression turned angry- he connected the dots. His hands immediately dropped and he took a step away from her. He shook his head, placing his hand over his mouth. He looks betrayed, hurt even.

"I'm so sorry, Brian." She reaches for him but he takes another step back.

"You didn't use- you- it's not mine?" He is at a loss for words.

"I don't know." She answers honestly.

"Daddy, I'm all ready!" Elliot yells from the hall before entering the kitchen. She looks at both parents and pauses for a brief second before she walks over to hug Olivia.

"It's okay, Mommy. I'll be back, you don't have to cry."

Olivia smiles and reaches down to pick her up. She gives her a squeeze and kisses her until Elliot squirms.

"Mommy, mommy! Okay, mommy enough!" Her daughter squeals before running over to Brian.

"Ready to go, stinker?" Brian interrupts, ruffling her hair again.

"Did you bring your bathing suits?" Olivia questions, her motherly instinct coming out of her.

"Yes, I brought all of them."

"Did you bring extra underwear and pajamas?"

"Yes, Momma!" She answers annoyingly, making her way to the door.

Olivia follows the pair out to the car, watching while Brian opens the door and gets their daughter situated in the car. She can't help but smile, remembering all the times she had watched this same scene. Brian would always double check that Elliot was buckled in properly, had a stuffed animal, and was comfortable. He would turn on a movie in the back seat for her and place a kiss on her forehead. He really was a great dad, and Elliot most definitely had him wrapped around her little finger.

"Okay, just checking. Be careful and have fun, I love you so much pretty girl."

"Love you too, Mommy!" She gives her a kiss.

Olivia closes the door behind her and walks over to the driver's side window.

"Call me when you get there, please?"

"Okay."

"Brian…"

"Not now, Olivia."

"Okay, drive safe and be careful." She replies but he is already rolling the window back up. She takes a step away from the car and watches as Brian backs out of the driveway and takes off.

She watches the car until it disappears from her vision, then looking down at her stomach.

"Looks like it's just you and me, baby."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"Olivia, I wasn't expecting you. Come in, have a seat." Cole stands up from his desk.

"I just stopped by to give you these." She throws the keys of the car he had so joyfully given her onto his desk. "And to tell you that I quit."

With that, she turns on her heels and walks to the door. As she goes to open it, she feels his hand wrap around her arm.

"Come on, Olive."

"Don't call me that. And don't fucking touch me." She jerks her arm back.

"What happened there, huh?" He points to the bruise on her face. "I take it you told him."

"Go to hell." Olivia spits back, making another attempt to leave. Cole slams his hand against the door, slamming it shut.

"You're so naive, do you know that? You came to me because you felt 'unloved', remember that? I made you feel alive again, Olivia. There is no need to feel guilty here, sweetheart. You owe no explanation to anyone." He is close to her now, centimeters from her face.

"You really think things are going to work with him? What kind of mother are you?"

She slaps him across the face, finally having enough of his shit. He was a self righteous son-of-a-bitch, he had it coming for awhile.

"Don't ever talk about my daughter, do you understand me?"

Cole chuckles, rubbing his cheek. "If he beats the woman he loves, Olivia, what's going to stop him from beating his child?"

"And by the way, congratulations on the baby."

She turns and stares at him, begging him to say another word so she can knock the fuck out of him again.

"What, you think I didn't know?" He presses.

"I'm done, Cole. I never want to see you again."

"I want a paternity test Olivia, if that is my baby I am going to raise it."

"Like hell you are!"

"I have rights, sweetheart. So I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, won't we?" Cole returns to his desk, taking a seat.

"Pleasure doing business with you." He calls, laughing as she slams the door behind her.

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"Okay, Mrs. Cassidy, I need you to sign these consent forms. They are just stating that you are aware of the procedure and that you have agreed to the operation."

"Before we get started, I am going to ask that you use the restroom and change into this gown. Then we will give you an epidural, are you familiar with that?"

"Yes, I've had one before with my daughter."

"Perfect. After a few minutes you will be numb from the waist down. If for any reason you are not fully numbed or feel anything, let us know and we will increase the dosage of anesthesia."

The doctor excused her to the restroom while they began setting up the equipment. Brian raced to Olivia's bedside to assist her in getting to the bathroom. He put his arm around her waist, holding the gown out to her. As they enter the the room, he closes the door silently and leans against it. Olivia begins undressing and sits on the toilet. A few moments pass and neither one of them has spoken a word. Brian pinches the bridge of his nose and crouches down beside her, putting a hand on her knee.

"Talk to me." He pleades.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore." His wife sobs into her hands.

Brian stills for a second, gathering his thoughts. He looks up, silently awaiting an answer. Why him? Why his family? Why his wife? Why his baby? A gut wrenching cry escapes her lips as she clutches her stomach.

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Take a deep breath okay." He envelops her in his arms, holding her so tightly he is sure neither of them can breathe. When she makes no attempt to stop, he takes her shoulders in his hands. She looks into his eyes and watches as he sucks in a puff of air and blows it out slowly.

"Deep breaths, alright? C'mon, don't leave me hanging here looking like an idiot." He inhales deeply again, blowing out when she finally mimics his actions.

"Good girl."

The pair sit close together, foreheads touching, as he helps her put on the gown. When he finally ties the knot, she speaks.

"I'm scared, Brian."

"I know you are, but I promise you, everything is going to be alright."

She jerks backwards from his embrace, "How can you sit there and tell me everything is going to be alright? We are in the emergency room of a hospital while our child is being scraped out of my body and thrown into a trash bag like- like some kind of roadkill."

"I think we should bury her." He nearly whispers.

"Her?"

"The baby, I mean."

"You think we would've had another girl?"

"Just my luck I'd be outnumbered." His eyes glance up towards hers and they share a smile.

"I want her to be buried. She deserves that, at least."

"Yeah, she does." He nods.

"She." Olivia whispers. "Our sweet little baby girl."

* * *

 **PRESENT**

"Hey there, how ya holding up?" A familiar voice calls from the doorway.

"Emily!" Olivia smiles, sitting up in bed.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, here sit. You need anything?" Brian insists, offering her the chair he was sitting in.

"I'm good, thanks Brian." She pats his shoulder as she makes her way to Olivia's bed.

"I'm gonna step out and call Sara, make sure everything's going okay." Brian tells them, giving them some privacy.

"Tell Ellie I said I love her." Olivia cooes.

"So? I take it he knows." Emily finally chimes in.

"It's a long story."

Emily watches as Olivia's eyes flutter and her head falls back against the bed.

"Doc got ya drugged up?" She chuckles.

"Mmmhmm. Feelin' pretty good right now."

"Yea, I bet. What're the chances of you slipping me one of those happy pills, huh?" Emily jokes, gaining another laugh from her friend. "I'm glad he's here, ya know? You shouldn't be going through this alone."

"I'm not alone. I got my best friend to help me work through all my shit, right?" Olivia holds Emily's hand tightly.

"Of course you do. There's no place I'd rather be. Honestly. Trevor is watching the kids so I'm yours for the whole day." She gives it a light squeeze.

"Hungry?" Emily questions. She watches as Olivia's eyes light up.

"I could really go for a cheeseburger right now." Olivia moans.

"I'm on it."

"Extra pickles and-"

"Two pieces of cheese. I know."

Olivia smiled.

 _Maybe she would be okay after all._

* * *

 **FLASHBACK**

"You are going to feel some pressure, but that is to be expected. So, just relax and this will be over in about 10 minutes. Okay?"

"Okay.

As Olivia lay in the hospital bed, a team of doctors and nurses at her feet, and Brian at her side- she had never felt so alone. She was no longer in pain, the effects of the drugs had long numbed her body. An occasional tear would stream down her face and she could feel the light squeeze of Brian's hand.

For Brian, there was nothing worse than to see his wife in so much pain. He wished he could make it all go away, knowing no one deserved this. Especially not Olivia. He watched as her face continued to scrunch up and her breathing falter.

"Are you doing alright, Mrs. Cassidy?" The doctor asked.

Olivia sniffled and nodded her head, staring up at the ceiling.

"I know this is hard, but just think happy thoughts, okay? You told me you had a daughter, why don't you tell me about her?" One of the nurses asked.

"What's her name?"

"Elliot. Elliot Gray." Brian answered, stroking Olivia's hair.

"She weighed 8 pounds and 6 ½ ounces. She had a full head of hair and the prettiest eyes." Olivia added, turning to smile at Brian.

"She sounds beautiful." The nurse smiled.

"I remember when Elliot was born, you were so scared. For months you told me you wanted an all natural birth. Your mom told you to take whatever the doctors would give you, but you insisted. No matter what anyone said, you were always so stubborn." Brian reminisced, gaining a chuckle from his wife.

"What was I thinking?"

"And then after the first few contractions, you all but begged the nurses to give you an epidural. I thought you were going to bite that poor lady's head off. But you were so strong, you still are."

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled, trying to picture the image in her head.

"And when the doctor handed her over to you, I swear to God I have never been so happy in my entire life. She never cried, she just stared up at you. You two just looked into each other's eyes for the longest time, it was like she knew who you were."

"You are the most amazing mother, Olivia. You are compassionate and nurturing and that little girl thinks the world of you. I know it's gonna be hard, but we're gonna get through it. I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
